


Marijuana Squadjuana

by anothermistakemade



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Everyone Is Gay, Humor, Intense, M/M, Multi, Oops™, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, PEGGY'S SWEET 16 WOOOOOO, Skype, alex wants the Truth™, and also sin™, angelica is lams trash, but also rlly salty, eliza is alex's mom, eliza is pure and smol, eliza is the shadiest person she acts pure but ???, everyone likes washington more than they like alex, george and martha do some dirty shit, get ready for DRAMA, he doesnt use the lords name in vain ok, he's legally alex's dad, i've trademarked three things already, its a good shady tho, its gonna get crazy - Freeform, its not here yet but be ready, john doesnt say oh my god, john is g a y, john may or may not have a daddy kink, kinkshaming, like me, like she acts like a cinnamon but it's more like a SINnamon roll am i right ladies, neither does herc, peggy's name isnt even margarita but she likes to pretend it is, the washingtons foster alex, there's going to be Drama™, they love God™, they talk about threesomes, this got so sexual so quickly, this isnt good im sorry, washington is a Cool Dad™, washington is everyones dad, washington is laurens' dad, what does down in the washington bedroom, who's the daddy in the relationship (vote now on your phones)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-05-26 07:28:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6229237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anothermistakemade/pseuds/anothermistakemade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex starts a Skype chat and it doesn't go well.</p><p>(Idea from 'The Chat Where It Happens')</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Marijuana Squadjuana

**Author's Note:**

> Wow I'm so sorry I wrote this
> 
> Eliza and Alex dated, but broke up  
> Nobody knows Alex and John are a thing  
> Everyone is gay but nobody knows it
> 
> gayboi177 - Alexander Hamilton  
> jlau - John Laurens  
> margarita - Peggy Schuyler  
> thegospeltruth - Hercules Mulligan  
> ayylmao - Angelica Schuyler  
> sexual.baguette - Lafayette  
> Washingturnedon - George Washington  
> eliza_schuyler - Eliza Schuyler

gayboi177 added JLau, margarita, thegospeltruth, ayylmao, sexual.baguette, washingturnedon, and eliza_schuyler to the conversation. 

gayboi177 named the conversation 'marijuana squadjuana'

gayboi177: Washington's name gives me aneurisms 

jlau: honestly same

eliza_schuyler: what's a turn edon

ayylmao: omfg she's too pure

sexual.baguette: it means your small baguette is now a large baguette

thegospeltruth: laf only speaks in baguette references

sexual.baguette: you are a rude baguette

eliza_schuyler: is the baguette a metaphor for dick

ayylmao: yes my smol child

washingturnedon removed the name from the conversation

gayboi177: wow rude

washingturnedon: weed references can get you kicked out of school, son

gayboi177: im not ur sun

jlau: alex youre legally his child

gayboi177: iM NOT UR SUN

eliza_schuyler: you're also not gay either but look at your username

ayylmao: OH FUCK

sexual.baguette: i physically felt that one

margarita: all these flavors and eliza chooses to be salty

eliza_schuyler: all these flavors and peggy chooses to be a hoe

thegospeltruth: S A VE T H E M

ayylmao: id pay to be roasted by eliza tbh

eliza_schuyler: you don't need to be roasted, you already look burnt with your bad contouring 

jlau: no onE iS sAfE

gayboi177 changed their name to bibaby

bibaby: suck my dick eliza

margarita: she already did

jlau: but im sucking your dick

ayylmao: waIT WHAT YALL ARE A THING

sexual.baguette: NO

thegospeltruth: WTF

washingturnedon: i knew about this

margarita: OTPOTPOTPOTPOTPOTPOTPOTP

sexual.baguette: OTP or pot

margarita: honestly both 

ayylmao: are you sucking his dick right now

washingturnedon: kids these days

washingturnedon: on their phones even when they're getting a blowjob

washingturnon: or giving one

jlau: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

bibaby: ok but no

bibaby: we haven't actually done the sex

eliza_schuyler: heads up Alex cries during sex

margarita: #stopeliza2k16

thegospeltruth named the conversation Eliza Roasting Session

bibaby: LIES

ayylmao: can we go back to lams

margarita: angelica what the fuck is a lam

ayylmao: it's alex and john's ship name duh

jlau: we have a ship name ??

sexual.baguette: you have a fan club

bibaby: 30 bucks says tjeffs started it

margarita: 50 bucks says alex started it

bibaby: not true

margarita: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

thegospeltruth: it was tjeffs

bibaby: HA

margarita: PICTURES OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN  
thegospeltruth sent files  
tjeff-lamsceremony.jpeg  
margarita: well shit

ayylmao: ngl im the vp

bibaby: i thought i was the vp

jlau: alex you knew about this??????

washingturnedon: you're both wrong, i'm the vice president

bibaby: D A D

jlau: MR WASHINGTON

washingturnedon: call me dad, john

washingturnedon: but not you, alex, call me george

ayylmao: WASHINGTON JUST DISOWNED YO ASS

bibaby: DAD PLS

bibaby: WHERE IS THE MERCY

sexual.baguette: honestly who wouldnt want john as a smol son tho

jlau: :3

jlau: its okay alex we'll get married and then dad can be your dad again

ayylmao: IM CRYING SO MUCH

ayylmao: THIS IS SO CUTE TBH

bibaby: im leaving

jlau: :'(

margarita: i just had to calm liz down from her fury now we can talk about lams

eliza_schuyler: its time for dinner tho

margarita: FOOD LMAO BYEEEE

washingturnedon: make yourself dinner, alex, john's getting your portion

bibaby: fuk u dad

jlau: i would say no but like martha's cooking

washingturnedon: feel free to call her mom

bibaby: john stop stealing my family

jlau: soz m8

bibaby: im done bye

jlau: <3


	2. Official Lams Fanpage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's late at night and everyone is a lil' horny (especially Washington)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we can all relate to Peggy and Angelica in this chapter
> 
> There's a lot of Lams in this chapter and I'm not even sorry

bibaby: yo is anyone awake

bibaby: yooooooooooooooooooooooo

jlau: alex its 2 am go to sleep

bibaby: no you go to sleep

jlau: omfg youre five

bibaby: rude

bibaby: but u luv me

bibaby: <3

jlau: .......

jlau: fine i love you

margarita: OMFG

ayylmao changed their name to LAMSTRASH

LAMSTRASH named the conversation OFFICIALLAMSFANPAGE

jlau: welp

jlau: peggy and angelica are awake

LAMSTRASH: NO WE'RE NOT KEEP GOING

margarita: RT ^^^^^^^^^^^

bibaby: so john

jlau: yes 

bibaby: whatcha wearin

margarita: JFC

LAMSTRASH: i cant decide if i'm down for lams sexting

margarita: youre weAK, ANGELICA

margarita: YOU GOTTA COMMIT

LAMSTRASH: pegs i can hear your typing from my room

margarita: let's go antagonize liza

bibaby: are they gone

jlau: i think so

bibaby: ugh mr adams assigned us 2 essays due next week

jlau: so you can't come over this weekend?

bibaby: i didnt say that

margarita: HAM CHOOSIN DICK OVER SCHOOL AGAIN

bibaby: FUCK OFF MARGARET

margarita: SUCK MY DICK ALEXANDER

bibaby: ok so when

margarita: wait what

washingturnedon: it's past your bedtimes, children

jlau: ok dad

bibaby: ok GEORGE

washingturnedon: it's mr. washington, please

bibaby: dad why are you even up

washingturnedon: martha and i were 'getting freaky'

washingturnedon: that's what you guys call it, right

jlau: OMFG

bibaby: DAD IM IN THE HOUSE

bibaby: IT THAT WHAT THAT NOISE WAS

margarita: can u do a split on the dick @ martha

washingturnedon: yes, yes she can

bibaby: OHMYGOD EW

washingturnedon: how do you think you were made, alexander

bibaby: IM A FUCKING FOSTER CHILD

washingturnedon: touche

margarita: martha fucked the smartness out of him

bibaby: THANKS FOR THAT IMAGE PEGGY

jlau: who else is slightly turned on

bibaby: J O H N

margarita: me tbh

bibaby: E N D  TH I S 

washingturnedon: im also aroused

bibaby: NO

bibaby: where did yall go

bibaby: i s2g if you guys are having a threesome and im not invited

bibaby: whatever im going to sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry you deserve better


	3. GWash/Angelica Hate Squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex needs answers about John's limp, and suddenly things get very sexy very quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments make me so happy I love all of you rn I never thought my shitty crack fic would go anywhere

bibaby named the conversation GWash hate squad

bibaby: i cant believe you guys threesome'd without me

eliza_schuyler: there was a threesome??? when????????

bibaby: last night

sexual.baguette: uhm it was not last night it was two nights ago thnk u v much

bibaby: what

bibaby: no laf not with you

bibaby: waiT ARE YOU IN A THREESOME

bibaby: WHY IS EVERYONE IN THREESOMES

thegospeltruth: gilbo they werent supposed to know about that

eliza_schuyler: but who was the third member

bibaby: angelica, probs

margarita: nah angelica's banging tjeff

bibaby: whAT

LAMSTRASH: no im not psh

margarita: i found a used condom and a box of mac n cheese in your room

bibaby: THE MAC N CHEESE LMAO

bibaby: THATS HIS KINK

LAMSTRASH: peggy u lil ho why were you in my room

margarita: to have a threesome with herc and laf

eliza_schuyler: PEGGY

sexual.baguette: PE G G Y  N O 

bibaby named the conversation tjeffs fucks macaroni

LAMSTRASH removed the name from the conversation

bibaby named the conversation angelicahatesquad

LAMSTRASH: -_-

bibaby: youre banging thomas fucking jefferson

bibaby: these are the consequences

sexual.baguette: ok but what was the original threesome you were referring to

bibaby: oh yea

bibaby: peggy, george and john

thegospeltruth: peggy's in 2 threesomes?????

LAMSTRASH: i would call her a hoe but honestly thats impressive

margarita: thnx i try

thegospeltruth: but how do you know for sure

bibaby: CUS JOHN'S LIMPING HIS ASS EVERYWHERE

margarita: ok but

margarita: we didnt actually threesome

margarita: that was a joke

bibaby: why is john limping tho

jlau: it's a soccer injury

bibaby: LIES

bibaby: YOU DONT PLAY SOCCER

LAMSTRASH: john who's dick was in ur butt

eliza_schuyler: anGELICA

LAMSTRASH: what i wanna kno

bibaby: i REALLY wanna know bc it wasnt mine

sexual.baguette: oh shit

thegospeltruth: john's got some explaining to do

jlau: nobody's dick was in my butt we all know i top

bibaby: F

bibaby: A

bibaby: K

bibaby: E

LAMSTRASH: john we want the truth

jlau: ok

jlau: i fell down the stairs

margarita: omg youre like 3

LAMSTRASH: john is 12 bye bye bye

sexual.baguette: john hurt his baguette

thegospeltruth: laf he didnt fall on his penis

bibaby: omfg are you okay?????????

jlau: ya i just fucked up my leg

jlau: hence the limp

LAMSTRASH: but like

LAMSTRASH: if you wanna get that leg fucked up even more

LAMSTRASH: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

bibaby: angelica pls

LAMSTRASH: FUCK EACH OTHER ALREADY

bibaby: WE'VE BEEN DATING FOR TWO WEEKS

jlau: i mean like 

jlau: i wouldnt mind if

margarita: FUCK EACH OTHER RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW

margarita started a call

Call denied

bibaby: PEGGY WE'RE NOT GOING TO LET YOU WATCH US FUCK

jlau: not unless you pay us

bibaby: j o h n  p l s

LAMSTRASH: john is so dtf

sexual.baguette: john how hard is your baguette rn

bibaby: IM LOGGING OFF BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


	4. Peggy's Secret Bday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They start discussing Peggy's birthday celebration. They don't really get anything done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eliza is getting shadier and shadier
> 
> Also I'm thinking about maybe adding in some cute Lams convos?? Because I'm Lams trash???
> 
> Lastly, there's strong mentions of alcohol in this chapter and there probably will be again. Be careful if you're sensitive to this.
> 
> AGES OF THE PEOPLES:  
> Peggy - 15, about to be 16 - sophomore  
> Angelica - 18 - senior  
> Eliza - 17 - junior  
> Alex - 17 - senior  
> John - 16 and 3/4 and vvvvv smol - junior  
> Hercules - 18 - senior  
> Lafayette - 17 - junior

LAMSTRASH added bibaby, jlau, sexual.baguette, thegospeltruth, and eliza_schuyler to the conversation

LAMSTRASH named the conversation PEGGY'S SECRET BDAY 

LAMSTRASH: peggy's birthday is this friday GO

bibaby: strippers & drugs

eliza_schuyler: strippers are really expensive

bibaby: i'll be a stripper

jlau: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

sexual.baguette: you guys are rlly sexual for a couple that refuses to sex each other

thegospeltruth: how much alcohol

LAMSTRASH: literally so much alcohol

jlau: i dont drink

eliza_schuyler: me neither

bibaby: ok i believe john but not eliza

bibaby: eliza you got fuckin hammered at my birthday last year

sexual.baguette: I REMEMBER THAT

thegospeltruth: SAME

thegospeltruth: ELIZA YOU TWERKED ON THE CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN

eliza_schuyler: ham's parents are rlly rich ok i took my opportunity

LAMSTRASH: eliza lowkey announcing alex was her sugardaddy

bibaby: honestly

bibaby: tru

jlau: when do my sugardaddy gifts begin

eliza_schuyler: i s2g alex if you make a daddy joke lives will be lost

bibaby: i had suCH A GOOD DADDY JOKE

thegospeltruth: can we go back to the fact that pegs is only a sophomore

thegospeltruth: so lets try to get the 16 yr old bby shitfaced

LAMSTRASH: thnx dad

thegospeltruth added washingturnedon to the conversation

washingturnedon: lets get the 16 yr old bby shitfaced

thegospeltruth removed washingturnedon from the conversation

bibaby: WASHINGTON AINT ON YOUR SIDE BOI

sexual.baguette: im on his side

jlau: also me?

eliza_schuyler: i'd also prefer my bby sis not to be hanging on a chandelier 

LAMSTRASH: like you were at alex's party

eliza_schuyler: LET IT GO 

thegospeltruth: LET IT GOOOOOO

thegospeltruth: CANT HOLD IT BACK ANY MOOOO

bibaby: eliZA

jlau: W H A T  H A V E  U  D O N E

thegospeltruth: LET IT GOOOO LET IT GOOOOO

sexual.baguette: she's unlocked the disnerd

sexual.baguette: it's too late to stop the transformation

thegospeltruth: TURN AWAY AND SLAM THE DOOR

bibaby: im done with this bye


	5. Alex Done Fucked Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex shouldn't be in charge of party planning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I havent updated but enjoy this pile of trash as an apology
> 
> More mentions of underage drinking/drugs

eliza_schuyler added LAMSTRASH, bibaby, thegospeltruth, sexual.baguette, and jlau to the conversation

eliza_schuyler: alex who's on the guest list for peg's party

bibaby: like 60 maybe 70 ppl

eliza_schuyler: what

jlau: alex wasnt this supposed to be a 'small get together'

bibaby: well yes

bibaby: but then i told burr about it and i guess he told the jeffersonians and now half the school is coming

thegospeltruth: 60 or 70 is an understatement

LAMSTRASH: alex our house is big but its not that big

sexual.baguette named the conversation alex done fucked up

bibaby: i didnt fuck up

eliza_schuyler: you turned our cute slumber party in a rave

jlau: i s2g if you invited charles lee im slayin a hoe

thegospeltruh: (whos the hoe)

bibaby: can i pick the hoe

jlau: s r s l y

LAMSTRASH: ok but im lowkey not even mad tho

LAMSTRASH: pegs would enjoy a rave more than a humble braid train

bibaby: plus nobody knows its a sleepover so we can kick them all out and then get down to the fun bonding stuff

sexual.baguette: remember when herc suggested we didnt get bby pggy shitfaced

thegospeltruth: retweet

eliza_schuyler: but i lowkey wanna get her shitfaced bc shes never been tht drunk before

jlau: but like that was before we found out tht alex invited the entire fucking school

bibaby: not the entire school

bibaby: freshmen arent invited

sexual.baguette: wow alex really putting a cap on the guest list there

bibaby: thnx i try

jlau: whos in charge of the drugs and strippers

bibaby: i call being in charge of the strippers

eliza_schuyler: no alex you get the alcohol bc washington literally has so much

LAMSTRASH: ill get the strippers

LAMSTRASH: i kno a guy

LAMSTRASH: (its alex)

bibaby: holla

bibaby added washingturnedon to the conversation

bibaby: hey george u got some alcohols

washingturnedon: i gotchu fam

bibaby: thnx fam

jlau: hi dad

washingturnedon: hi, son

bibaby: fuk u george

washingturnedon: fuck you too, son

bibaby: omg he called me son <33333

sexual.baguette: the large baguette bongs with the smol baguette

sexual.baguette: omfg *bonds

thegospeltruth: they vape together too tho

LAMSTRASH: wait

LAMSTRASH: if john and alex are both george's sons isnt that incesty 

washingturnedon: alex is my son-in-law

bibaby: jfc

bibaby: #whenwillgeorgeacceptme

washingturnedon: #imnotyourrealdad

bibaby: #noshit 

jlau: #illbeyourdadalex

eliza_schuyler: you just open the floodgates for daddy jokes

bibaby: wait wasnt i supposed to be the sugardaddy in this relationship

LAMSTRASH: be ~each other's~ sugardaddies 

thegospeltruth: thats so cute tbh

bibaby: i dont even have a daddy kink im being so attacked right now

washingturnedon: this is a zero kinkshaming group chat

eliza_schuyler: remember the threesome with washington peggy and john

bibaby: when will i be free of this pain

sexual.baguette: martha and george get vvvvvv freaky

bibaby: stop talking about my parents fucking

bibaby: im leaving

jlau: bye daddy

bibaby: IM BLOCKING ALL OF YOU BYEEEEE


	6. Jhomas Tefferson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas Jefferson appears. He says one thing.
> 
> Alex is on his way to Peggy's party. He has an unwanted (for him) guest with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's so many nicknames for Peggy and I'm going to use all of them. Also your comments give me life, I wouldn't keep writing this without feedback.

bibaby: this just in: young immigrant hates foster father more than thought possible

jlau: <3

sexual.baguette: Pourqoui?

bibaby: he's driving me to peggle's party

thegospeltruth: alex you cant drive

bibaby: i can WALK

bibaby: my legs are OPERABLE

LAMSTRASH: omg is george gonna party with us

bibaby: N O

bibaby: he's not even going to get out of the car

washingturnedon: thats what you think

bibaby: dad DRIVE THE CAR

sexual.baguette: alex dont die

jlau: pls dont die i would be sad

LAMSTRASH: AWWWWWWWW

LAMSTRASH: im dying without peggy in this chat whos going to be trash with me

LAMSTRASH added JhomasTefferson to the conversation

JhomasTefferson: (have the fucked yet)

LAMSTRASH: no :'(

bibaby: no but Y'ALL TWO HAVE

JhomasTefferson left the conversation.

jlau: omg he said y'all im rubbing off on him :')

jlau: he even put the apostrophe in the right place <33333333

bibaby: john gets southern when hes drunk

bibaby: look forward do that

LAMSTRASH: omfg i am

thegospeltruth: alex remember the first time we took john to a party

sexual.baguette: i remember that it was beautiful

jlau: thats night is exactly why i dont drink

bibaby: remember when you forgot you were gay

thegospeltruth: omfg and he started making out with that chick and we had to sit him down and tell him she wasnt a guy

LAMSTRASH: im upset that i wasnt invited to this

sexual.baguette: he gave that lecture on cows

jlau: stoooooooooooop

bibaby: noooooooo

jlau: ಥ_ಥ 

bibaby: the best part was when laf drew a face on his hand and he started talking to it

jlau: im going to leave this convo

bibaby: no wait dont we're done

jlau: <3

eliza_schuyler: how much longer until the party is ready? i'm trying to keep peggy distracted at the mall but she wants to go home

LAMSTRASH: literally everyone is here except alex

bibaby: not my fault george drives 3 miles an hour

bibaby: we're in the neighborhood

LAMSTRASH: stall her with ice cream or something   
   
bibaby: ooooh ice cream

jlau: alex no stay focused

bibaby: booooo

bibaby: we're here

LAMSTRASH: tell george to come inside

washingturnedon: im coming in

bibaby: george pls

jlau: love you dad

washingturnedon: i love you too, favorite child

bibaby: wow

bibaby: wooooooooooooooow

bibaby: eliza's my mom now

eliza_schuyler: ok

eliza_schuyler: hi son

bibaby: hi mom

bibaby: herc is my dad

thegospeltruth: youre adopted

bibaby: dont be fucking rude

jlau: did you just quote khloe kardashian

sexual.baguette: it was kim get your facts straight

washingturnedon: kids why are you talking on skype if youre all in the same room

bibaby: good point byeee


	7. disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Peggy's party. Things don't exactly go well.

margarita added bibaby, jlau, eliza_schuyler, LAMSTRASH, thegospeltruth, and sexual.baguette to the conversation

margarita named the conversation disaster

margarita: alex 

margarita: get off my roof

bibaby: nooOOOO

jlau: he's on the fucking roof oh my god

jlau: i leave for TWO MINUTES to pee

eliza_schuyler: all hail sober john laurens for being our savior

bibaby: ELIzaS ON TH ERO OF WIth mE

eliza_schuyler: shhhhhh

bibaby: mooooooooOOOOOOM

margarita: eliza takes alcohol so well

LAMSTRASH: she keeps doing shots who will stop her

sexual.baguette: has anyone seen hercules

bibaby: lasT I SAW HIm He Wanted to jump oFF THE ROof into the pool whAt a BADASS

sexual.baguette: W H A T

margarita: WE DONT EVEN HAVE A FUCKING POOL

jlau: sober john to the rescue

jlau: he's sitting on the couch in the front yard, contemplating life

sexual.baguette: john im putting you on herc duty

jlau: i cant im on alex duty

bibaby: WOOOOOOOOO

jlau: how did you even get to the roof

sexual.baguette: eliza be on herc duty

eliza_schuyler: on it

sexual.baguette: if he starts asking philosophical questions start talking about jesus or something that always shuts him up

LAMSTRASH: alex wants to jump off the roof how do i stop him

jlau: A L E X

jlau: HOW THE FUCK DO I GET ONTO THE ROOF

margarita: crawl ou tthe windoe on 3 flpor

sexual.baguette: all hail queen peggster skyping as she get her face sucking off

eliza_schuyler: does laf's english just get increasingly worse the drunker he gets

margarita: i thonj je eventislly didintrgrated inyo ftrnch

eliza_schuyler: peg just go have your makeout session and stop trying to type

margarita: pkay

jlau: WHERE THE FUCK IS ALEX

jlau: I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOSH

LAMSTRASH: im so drunk

LAMSTRASH: same

LAMSTRASH: oh wait lmap

LAMSTRASH: HA LMAP FRIggin gold

jlau: i cant find alex where the fuck is he

jlau: all the drunk idiots dont know where he is

jlau: i swear to fucking gosh

jlau: angelica did he jump off the roof

jlau: angelica

jlau: ANGELICA

eliza_schuyler: john, calm down

jlau: ANGELICA

jlau: i cant liz, gosh knows where alex is or what hes doing any why can nobody find him this house isnt that big and aaaRRRGHHH

eilza_schuyler: i would help you look but im dealing with herc

thegospeltruth: why am i here

eliza_schuyler: because god put you on this earth, hercules

jlau: *God

thegospeltruth: God

thegospeltruth: L M A OOOOOOO

jlau: fuck it im having a drink

jlau: im going to get

jlau: fucking

jlau: wa s t e d

eliza_schuyler: john, no

eliza_schuyler: i cant do this on my own

jlau: its too late eliza

eliza_schuyler: john

eliza_schuyler: john i cant be the only sober person here

eliza_schuyler: john dont leave me

eliza_schuyler joooooooooooooohn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is going to be so dramatic please be ready


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW I HAVE EXPLAINING TO DO i just had this plan for drama and then was sorta turned off by it since this is mostly humor, but then i found it at the bottom of my works and reread and lmao here we are....
> 
> mentions of cheating, drinking, hangovers/not remembering things

bibaby added margarita, jlau, eliza_schuyler, LAMSTRASH, thegospeltruth, and sexual.baguette to the conversation

bibaby: how did we all end up at my house

bibaby: wasnt the party at the schuyler manor

jlau: wht teh fguk

eliza_schuyler: thAT PARTY WAS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE

bibaby: good morning, eliza

eliza_schuyler: JESUS FUCK

LAMSTRASH: eliza your bitching woke me up

bibaby: you should be used to it by now, you live with her

LAMSTRASH: (damn)

LAMSTRASH: where john go

bibaby: he fell back asleep

bibaby: he's on top of me

LAMSTRASH: thats kinda gey 

jlau: shhhhhhhhhh

bibaby: eliza tell the story of how we ended up at my house

eliza_schuyler added washingturnedon to the conversation

eliza_schuyler named the conversation 'Eliza's Storytelling Sesh'

eliza_schuyler: gather round

washingturnedon: why are there multiple hungover teens in my living room

eliza_schuyler: shut up dad im telling a story

eliza_schuyler: so john got his ass wasted

jlau: ayy lmao

eliza_schuyler: and i was trying to protect herc, not realizing that many drunk people were attempting to drive themselves home

eliza_schuyler: which is a TERRIBLE IDEA

eliza_schuyler: so i was like

eliza_schuyler: woah

eliza_schuyler: hold the fuck up

washingturnedon: language

eliza_schuyler: srry dad

washingturnedon: you better be fucking sorry

eliza_schuyler: ANYWAY

eliza_schuyler: i rounded up most of the ppl

eliza_schuyler: and then mi padre texts me

bibaby: nice spanish

eliza_schuyler: SHUSH

eliza_schuyler: he's coming home early and there's a whole bunch of drunk people in his house

eliza_schuyler: so i loaded everybody into herc's big ass truck

eliza_schuyler: and took us here

eliza_schuyler: fin

sexual.baguette: nice french

eliza_schuyler: thank

washingturnedon: did any teens do the secks anywhere in my home???

eliza_schuyler: no but i suggest herc get his truck cleaned

thegospeltruth: whAT 

thegospeltruth: EW

eliza_schuyler: ok most of it was u and laf

sexual.baguette: makes sense

thegospeltruth: laF

sexual.baguette: srrynotsrry

washingturnedon: so the secks happened in mr mulligan's car and not my estate?

eliza_schuyler: yee

washingturnedon: lame lol

eliza_schuyler opened a private chat with bibaby

bibaby: shit y we whisperin fam

eliza_schuyler: now is not the time for memes, alexander

bibaby: oh she busted out the full name 

eliza_schuyler: yes, and you busted a nut

eliza_schuyler: in maria reynolds

bibaby: i did a what now

eliza_schuyler: you told me last night

eliza_schuyler: you told john too but i don't think he remembers

bibaby: fuck

bibaby: what am i gonna do

eliza_schulyer: you have to tell him

bibaby: i can't loose him eliza

eliza_schuyler: **lose

bibaby: shut??? the hell???? your mouth????

eliza_schuyler: old meme

bibaby: like you know memes

eliza_schuyler and bibaby rejoined the group conversation 

sexual.baguette: and that's the story of how i fucked a jar of peanut butter

bibaby: im

thegospeltruth: ok the context of that is very important

LAMSTRASH: alex what's your drunk shenanigan from last night

eliza_schuyler: yeah alex, what was it :)

margarita: ggasp 

margarita: liza knows

eliza_schuyler: no i don't 

margarita: you're a shitty liar

eliza_schuyler: this is a text conversation??

LAMSTRASH: c'mon pegs i know her skype password

eliza_schuyler: no dont

bibaby: guys wait

jlau: (expose him)

bibaby: john!!!!

margarita: *hacker voice*

margaita: we're in

eliza_schuyler: seriously guys, stop

jlau: damn angelica why'd you just scream so loud

bibaby: umm,,,,,,,


End file.
